i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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