I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
