Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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