having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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