You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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