Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
