You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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