Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
