At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
