Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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