Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
