i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Just cropdusted the office
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
