Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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