We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
