ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
