Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Let's get the cat blown out
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
