you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
