So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
