Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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