It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
