Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
