Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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