the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
