I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize