So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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