it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
