We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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