where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
