what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm like, not good at living.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize