I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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