Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Rumble strips road head = magical
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
