You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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