Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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