So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
