I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm getting married
To pizza
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
