So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
