i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
