I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
