I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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