How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
