found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish you could order shots online.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
