I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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