Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
