if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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