y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize