Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
