She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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