that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Randomize
