Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
