There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
