I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize