You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
