DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
