and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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