i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
