She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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