Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
