I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
