Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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