great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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